The Dark Side of Gardening

Now that I am an expert in gardening (the Miracle Gro really does work y’all!), I have been enlightened by many things…things I’d like to share with you faithful three readers.

Oh yes…the beauty and tranquility that the lovely blooms in my front yard have created in my neighborhood have surely moved us right on up to the top tier of our homeowner’s association and right onto the cover of Home & Garden (not really – but it’s my blog and I can say what I want to).

Don’t be fooled though. There is a dark side to a gardener’s world. It’s not all a rosy colored world full of coordinated gloves and gardening shoes. No…there are serious crimes that await … misdemeanors in the making…and the scene of the crime you ask? That would be my front yard.

Apparently someone’s under the assumption that “your daisy is my daisy” as my perfectly beautiful red bloom has been plucked away… leaving just a green stem to stand all alone. Eddie broke the news to me gently…but still it hurt. It was only a day before the crime that I had sent him a cell phone photo of our red daisy saying how happy I was that the Miracle Gro had in fact worked a miracle and we had a pretty flowers to show for it. Did the person who stole my flower not think I would notice? Honestly...there are like only 3 plants that are actually still alive...it would have been impossible for me not notice it was gone!

Um excuse me neighbor people, but my garden (and I use that term loosely) is NOT a collection of free horticultural samples for the taking. I’m not trying to say that my daisies are like part of my possessions (well yes I am)… but I am saying that they should not be stolen.

Part of the joy in planting and (always and forever) watering all of the flowers is knowing what will come…the anticipation of one day showing up and lovely shades of pink, purple, orange, yellow and red have exploded and blossomed overnite. Such a beautiful sight really…and not just for me… they are for the neighbors and drivers-by (hi ice cream truck driver!) also… I want them to enjoy all the beauty too…but someone took away that joy for me and for others.

What was this person thinking when they stole my flower - the daisy that could have brought so many people smiles and warm fuzzies should they walk or drive by our house and glance in its direction? I almost wouldn’t be so bothered by it except it wasn’t like the whole stalk was ripped out on an impulse…this flower crime was clearly premeditated. I wouldn’t be surprised if they brought their own outdoor scissors.

You know…if someone wants a flower…they should really just ask me…
I’m of the kind-hearted set of folk who would be happy to share the beauty of my garden with others. I would run into the house and get my garden scissors and arrange a lovely bouquet of flowers and greenery…all the while chatting about the many intricacies of soil and petals and all sorts of flowery things I’ve learned in the past month.

After this incident though, I’m almost considering putting up a fence or a moat or something … a barrier to protect my plants from those flower traffickers. Florists should really be aware of where their suppliers are getting their goods – possibly out of the yards of unsuspecting gardening novices like myself.