On my quest to become America’s Next Top Model – I mean America’s Best Wife(to be) Ever, I decided to go to Walmart today and purchase MiracleGro. I did this in order to make the exterior portion of our cute little house more picture perfect, since the interior of the house, with walls torn down and bare floors, looks a little less than Pottery Barn at the moment.
Our poor little plants which were oh so lovely on the first day I saw them (see the pretty daisy picture?) have now withered away and look more Homely & Hopeless and less Home & Garden.
I have inherited many things from my mother…and apparently my luck with flora is just one more. Instead of a Green Thumb – I have a Thumb of Death. Flowers that could probably thrive in the driest regions of the Sahara desert or with no sunlight for the majority of the year come into contact with me and promptly keel over. Thanks mom! Why couldn’t I have got your wee tiny waist instead? I have no idea.
Now instead of amazing blooms and perfectly symmetrical alignment (thanks Eddie) of all sorts of flowers and greenery that would cause onlookers to “oooh and aaah”, we have more grass and weeds in one little flower bed than we have flowers! And the other flower bed…bless its little soul… looks like it has suffered from years of neglect. We really have watered them often, even through a voluntary conservation of water that the city placed upon us.
Most shocking of all is this little tidbit that I’m going to share with you. Apparently the surname Thrasher came from a form of the word “thresher” – this according to an expert on genealogy (my grandpa’s first cousin twice removed and then doubled and then divided by three). And according to another expert, Mr. Dictionary (first name Webster), a thresher was some sort of farming expert. Apparently those genes skipped my generation. Thank goodness Eddie didn’t buy us a farm to supply our people with nourishment. I can’t even grow a proper flower much less something edible that will sustain life. My family would starve!
Obviously my grade of A+ in Botany while in college means nothing in real life.
Here’s to hoping MiracleGro will work …well…a miracle :)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Gardening 101
Posted by Wifey2b at 7/16/2008
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2 comments:
An A+ in Botany. That's hysterical. You and your Thumbs of Death are like me and my brown ones.
However, I'm sure that a little prayer in conjunction with this MiracleGro will have your li'l yard a-burstin' with life & color in no time.
Lastly, can I just say I got really excited thinking about what it must be like to own lawn appliances?! Get thee a weed-whacker - junk is awesome!
Weeds? Read to use newspaper instead of expensive weedblocker. Also coffee grounds (yes, used) are great to add to acid loving plants - azaleas. We can compare thumb of death notes...We finally have lovely container gardens...all I can grow. Only seasonal...and not too expensive to KILL! Some EASY tips for the gorgeous gal of gardening! I can illiterate too!!!
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